Thursday, May 18, 2006

My Personal Addiction

I have an addiction. I didn't realize it until I went without it. I'm serious. It affected my sleep, how I interacted with those around me, even how productive I was in the office. What is my addiction? It's my "personal digital assistant (PDA)."

It's a tool and a curse wrapped into one. It's a tool because I keep all my contacts, notes, task list, pictures, recording ability, email all in the palm of my hand. Add to it that it's my cell phone too. Handy But, it's a curse too. A curse, because I became so dependent on it that when I had problems with it this past week - I became an irritable mess. I was crippled without it. I didn't know who I was meeting with, when, where. I didn't know what my priorities were. I didn't get important messages that were sitting on my phone/email.

Had this material possession become my idol? What I giving it more worth than the One that I should have relied on? I could debate all day on whether this object that started as a tool had become a crutch for me to function. In the end, I was dependent on it to continue productivity at the same level.

What frustrated me the most was how much of my own ego was wrapped into my productivity. I was concerned about what people thought of me when I didn't return emails or phone calls, dropped balls, or didn't have the information at hand that I was used to. My reputation was on the line. Who cares about my reputation? Was my entire reputation wrapped up in a small gizmo that seemingly controlled my productivity?

Now that it's fixed - life has been more "normal" (or at least what I perceived as normal). But I did enjoy spending more time at home without being 'connected.' Maybe I should take a 'fast' from my PDA more often…

God, help me to rely soley on You and not the 'things' of this world. When I get to the end of my life, it won't matter how productive I was…but my relationship with You and those around me will matter most. Help me be more vertical in focus instead of horizontal.

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