Dad Unable to Pray

Mealtime can come to be a ritual...but having our 17 month old Joshua has changed things up a bit at mealtime. My son usually grabs both of our hands to pray. We'll ask, "Do you want to pray?" Because he doesn't talk much (at all), he simply smiles and gives one hand to Lisa and the other to me. Then one of us prays. We end with, "amen" and Joshua somehow knows it's done and retracts his hand. It's cute.

Recently I wasn't there for the meal something odd happened. Lisa told me about it later. Joshua grabbed Lisa's hand and then turned to grab mine. When Joshua discovered no one sitting in my chair, he turned to Lisa with a puzzled look and said, "Da da?"

It disturbed me. When I was single - I cared mostly for myself. When I got married - another adult was in the picture. Now with Joshua on the scene - it's a different ball game. Time is spread thin and I see the selfishness come out of me. While I was gone for a "good" reason - it caused me to realize something more deeply.

God is using me as an example for everyone around me - especially my kids. Joshua will want to know how often his daddy reads the Bible, prays, talks to others about God, worships Him, goes off alone to listen to Him - or if God is simply an afterthought. He will know if I talk more about the latest gadget than I talk about God.

Bottom line, we are examples to others whether we like it or not. People watch us and evaluate if what we believe is real. My son will look to me as his biggest example of how he should act when it comes to his relationship with God. Even though I'm merely a manager of my kids (God owns them), I am more aware now than before of my presence and the example I set.

God help me to be a positive influence in my son's life. And help me to manage my time wisely so that I'm not abscent in those most important times in his life. It will be difficult to let go of myself and put my kids' needs before mine. Help me to be the best example they will ever meet.