My Personal Addiction

I have an addiction. I didn't realize it until I went without it. I'm serious. It affected my sleep, how I interacted with those around me, even how productive I was in the office. What is my addiction? It's my "personal digital assistant (PDA)."

It's a tool and a curse wrapped into one. It's a tool because I keep all my contacts, notes, task list, pictures, recording ability, email all in the palm of my hand. Add to it that it's my cell phone too. Handy tool..eh? But, it's a curse too. A curse, because I became so dependent on it that when I had problems with it this past week - I became an irritable mess. I was crippled without it. I didn't know who I was meeting with, when, where. I didn't know what my priorities were. I didn't get important messages that were sitting on my phone/email.

Had this material possession become my idol? What I giving it more worth than the One that I should have relied on? I could debate all day on whether this object that started as a tool had become a crutch for me to function. In the end, I was dependent on it to continue productivity at the same level.

What frustrated me the most was how much of my own ego was wrapped into my productivity. I was concerned about what people thought of me when I didn't return emails or phone calls, dropped balls, or didn't have the information at hand that I was used to. My reputation was on the line. Who cares about my reputation? Was my entire reputation wrapped up in a small gizmo that seemingly controlled my productivity?

Now that it's fixed - life has been more "normal" (or at least what I perceived as normal). But I did enjoy spending more time at home without being 'connected.' Maybe I should take a 'fast' from my PDA more often…

God, help me to rely soley on You and not the 'things' of this world. When I get to the end of my life, it won't matter how productive I was…but my relationship with You and those around me will matter most. Help me be more vertical in focus instead of horizontal.

Dad Unable to Pray

Mealtime can come to be a ritual...but having our 17 month old Joshua has changed things up a bit at mealtime. My son usually grabs both of our hands to pray. We'll ask, "Do you want to pray?" Because he doesn't talk much (at all), he simply smiles and gives one hand to Lisa and the other to me. Then one of us prays. We end with, "amen" and Joshua somehow knows it's done and retracts his hand. It's cute.

Recently I wasn't there for the meal something odd happened. Lisa told me about it later. Joshua grabbed Lisa's hand and then turned to grab mine. When Joshua discovered no one sitting in my chair, he turned to Lisa with a puzzled look and said, "Da da?"

It disturbed me. When I was single - I cared mostly for myself. When I got married - another adult was in the picture. Now with Joshua on the scene - it's a different ball game. Time is spread thin and I see the selfishness come out of me. While I was gone for a "good" reason - it caused me to realize something more deeply.

God is using me as an example for everyone around me - especially my kids. Joshua will want to know how often his daddy reads the Bible, prays, talks to others about God, worships Him, goes off alone to listen to Him - or if God is simply an afterthought. He will know if I talk more about the latest gadget than I talk about God.

Bottom line, we are examples to others whether we like it or not. People watch us and evaluate if what we believe is real. My son will look to me as his biggest example of how he should act when it comes to his relationship with God. Even though I'm merely a manager of my kids (God owns them), I am more aware now than before of my presence and the example I set.

God help me to be a positive influence in my son's life. And help me to manage my time wisely so that I'm not abscent in those most important times in his life. It will be difficult to let go of myself and put my kids' needs before mine. Help me to be the best example they will ever meet.

Lunch on the Church (Podcast)

Ever want to sit down over lunch and get into the minds of Andy Brightbill and Bryan Nelson? Scary, huh?! Well, here's your chance. Each week Andy and I sit down and record audio from our lunch at McDonald's. We select a topic and then go. The audio is then uploaded to the internet and you can listen to it by either 'streaming' it or 'downloading' it on any computer. It's called "Podcasting"...but you don't need Apple's iPod to listen to it.

Click on this link to go to "Lunch on the Church" or on the picture of the iPod below to take you to "Lunch on the Church." It's updated each week (on Thursday's mostly). And for those of you who are really concerned - no, the church does NOT pay for our lunch. Enjoy.

Changing Stations in Outreach

Attracting the right kind of people. The big question is how do you get an unchurched person to attend an outreach event? While we think there are gimmiks and tricks to get people there (and there are), it's still true that most people come to an outreach event because they were invited by someone. It isn't the fancy flyer, the radio ad, the mailer, or billboard. Those are simply reinforcements for the churched person to use as references when inviting their friends. But that begs a good question...

When it comes to radio...on which station(s) do you promote an outreach event - Christian or secular? Christian radio? Secular radio? We need a base audience of churched people to know about the event - so Christian radio would do that. But churched people will need a tool to invite their unchurched friends - so secular radio would do that.

The answer is BOTH Christian and secular radio. You cannot have success without promotion on both Christian and secular fronts. Allow me to explain...

We actually need LESS believers to attend our outreach event (The Crosswalk Show). What do I mean? I'm actually talking about a specific KIND of believer. We need less believers who come to the show by themselves. This will, in turn, free up seats for both unbelievers and the believers who actually will invite and bring unbelieving friends. You see, we can pack the house with beleivers...but they aren't our target. Unbelievers are our target.

From the surveys at the shows, less than 3 percent of our audience said they did not have a church home. That's 30 people out of 1,000. Not a good showing for the resources dumped into the show. We'd rather have 500 people show up and 100 of them are our target audience. This would mean we are being more effective with the 500 crowd than the 1,000 crowd. Promoted soley on Christian radio wasn't helping our cause - it was helping pack the house with believers...and only believers. We also were promoting through mailers to an in-house mailing list that was generated from those who previously attended events.

Now that we have our Christian base...we make a shift in how we promote this outreach event. Our next show will be promoted on both Christian and secular radio. Our Christian radio ads will be 1/2 of the volume we ran before. Also, our mailing will be to 10,000 homes in a radius around the church to those 50 years and younger (the show's target audience). We will not promote this year to our in-house event list (generated from previous event).

Will these efforts help? We hope so. There's a lot at stake. We have THE greatest message for the world. It's one of love and hope that people need. We are hoping that we will attract the right crowd so they can hear about the relationship God wants to have with them. Reaching our target audience for The Crosswalk Show has been difficult...but the only alternative is to change our tactics or quit our effort to reach unbelievers.

Here were the results of a recent survey of local public high school students. We recently survied local public high school students as to their top two most listened to radio stations. (By the way, it's interesting that our local contemporary Christian radio station wound up on only 2 surveys...yet THIS is the generation we are attempting to reach.) Only four cards DID NOT have WLAN listed. WLAN is where we put our chips.

High school students were asked to list the top two radio stations they listen to most frequently.

96.9 - 16 votes
105.1 - 13 votes
105.7 - 3 votes
99.3 - 2 votes
90.3 (Christian) - 2 votes
101.3 - 1 vote
92.1 - 1 vote
98.5 - 1 vote
94.9 - 1 vote
96.5 - 1 vote
96.1 - 1 vote

God, use us to reach a world that is lost and hurting for truth. You bring the opportunities. You give the resources. You've given the command to reach as many people as possible and make disciples. Help us, now, to do what You've called us to do no matter the personal cost in change or risk we take on. If You have asked us, we will follow Your lead. May our feable efforts be used to expand Your kingdom. While You don't need, You've asked to work through us anyway...so we are Yours.

The Day the (Church) Music Died

No wonder I end up with diarrhea during me 60-second drive home. A dainty humble church-going lady came to me after a worship service and kindly stated, "Bryan, I hope we never lose the hymns." I smiled as we shook hands and parted ways. Right behind her, a bushy-haired teen with a cross-pierced ear 'shook' my hand and said, "Bryan, I love that edgy music we do." That’s when I get the diarrhea. But here's the bigger question. What about all the other music? Where did all the music go? You know...the Gregorian Chant and stuff. Allow me explain.

New songs are baby songs. What are new songs? In the scheme of history, it’s basically, anything written in the past 20 years. These songs aren’t in our hymnal (the hymnal we select some of our music from for services was published in 1986). We don't know if they'll survive into to their ‘teen years’ until they prove themselves like some hymns have. Some will become the hymns of tomorrow. Most will die out.

Hymns are in mid-life crisis. Allow me to explain. Our hymnals today contain music mostly written from 1800-1900. There is, however, the occasional exception. Take for example the melody that "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" is derived. It's a Gregorian Chant. Or the 14th century Christmas carol "Good Christian Men, Rejoice." But our hymnal doesn't represent all of musical history. It only spans 500 years.

So where are all the senior citizen songs? You know, the rest of the Gregorian Chants...where are they? How about the music that the Psalm were originally sung to...where are they? Let me ask again, WHERE ARE THEY MY TRADITIONAL AND CONTEMPORARY FRIENDS!? Why doesn't anyone ask for the ancient music of old? It's because they've been lost and forgotten by the church. We no longer sing the ancient music. Maybe we sing to the text of Psalms and lyrics written in the 8th century, but the music is long since vanished from the church.

The fact is, the music we use in church today (both hymns and new songs) is extremely narrow historically. If we truly want to be "blended" or prevent losing our musical historical roots - I need to sign my children up for the nearest Chant school. The question is, are we ready for that? Do we really want that? Will it help us or hinder us in our worship? Does God want it? Do we need it, or any style of music (or music for that fact) to demonstrate to God what He's worth?

I suddenly don't have diarrhea any more on the drive home as I find myself switching from Top 40 Radio to NPR Radio and back again. For my birthday, someone please get me a subscription to satellite radio. I promise to leave it on the Bluegrass hits station every day as I leave the office, just for Scott Distler to listen to at Grace Church (Lititz, PA).

Worship...Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

My son, Joshua, enjoys a book we read him with the song "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." In fact, at times he will spontaneously break out into movement at a TV commercial, song on the radio, or just for the fun of it. I'm afraid for the day that he begins dancing at church in front of everyone. Should I stop him? Nah. It's cute. Besides, he has better moves than either his mom or dad.

What is appropriate in worship when it comes to HOW we worship? Does the heavenly Father enjoy watching us dance for Him, similar to the enjoyment I get watching my son dance for us? How about clapping hands? Raising hands? Oh boy, now I'm getting controversial (for some).

When there is a wedding and the bridal march begins, what do people do without thinking twice? They stand in honor of the bride and groom on this special day. When a man asks a woman to marry him, he gets on his knee to propose to her. Why? Because he wants to show her that this is an important event and that she is being honored as someone very special. Dancing plays a part of our culture in that it expresses celebration, intimacy, and individuality. We clap with enthusiasm for everything that pleases us. Musicians will play their instruments for hours on end with no one listening. Speaking doesn't need to be mentioned at all.

Have you ever been to a ball game where the parents of the players were present? If so, you've experienced shouting at its best. Singing is done by the talented and untalented alike, and is often done in cars, showers, and on stage. In sporting events or competitions we see this quite often. Whenever a player scores a basket or touchdown the hands go up. It a natural response to an amazing task performed.

Let'’s pause and ask ourselves what we are doing during our worship times today. How do we worship? What are we able to do and still be reverent before the Lord? What is God's desire for our worship? Does God give us the right to pick and choose how we worship? Here are nine expressions of worship from the Psalms that stem from David's desire to worship the Lord wholeheartedly and without reservation.

It is important to keep in mind that these modes of worship took place thousands of years before 'the charismatic movement' that some believers are so afraid of. I'll agree, there are dangers in the charismatic movement..but shall we throw away biblical worship because it's associated with something that we are afraid of? Hmmm. Just food for thought.

Consider the following. Which ones are accepted in your church? Which ones do you feel comfortable doing? Which ones would you not be caught doing?! Why or why not?

Our Voice
1. Speaking - Psalm 34:1 says, "I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips."

2. Shouting - Psalm 27:6 says, "Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord."

3. Singing - Psalm 47:6 says, "Sing praises to God, sing praises to our King, sing praises."

Our Posture
1. Bowing - Psalm 95:6 says, "Come let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker."

2. Standing - Psalm 119:120 says, "My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws."

3. Dancing - Psalm 149:3 says, "Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp."

Our Hands
1. Playing Instruments - Psalm 33:2, 3 says, "Praise the Lord with the harp; make music to him on the ten stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy."

2. Clapping - Psalm 47:1 says, "Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy."

3. Lifting Hands - Psalm 63:4 says, "I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."

[Content taken from "Nine Ways to Worship" by Stephen M. Newman]

God help me to express Your worthiness like David did. I don't want to be concerned about what others think of me as I worship You. I want You to be concerned with how I worship You. God, there are times I don't fully express how I love you because of what others think of me. Forgive me for putting others before You when it comes to how I worship You.

Trust: One of Five Dysfunctions of a Team

Trust. It's such a simple concept. Yet rarely do people function in real trust. It's the first of five dysfunctions shared by Patrick M. Lencioni in his book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." Without trust, the willingness to be transparent and honest with others, a team will rarely be more than the sum of its parts.

The book lists the five dysfunctions of a team:

Teams are truly cohesive when...
1. They trust one another.
2. They engage in unfiltered conflict around ideas.
3. They commit to decisions and plans of actions.
4. They hold one another accountable for delivering against those plans.
5. They focus on the achievement of collective results.

I wonder how much people really trust each other? Think about it. When was the last time you told someone everything about you? I mean EVERYTHING. See, we all have a problem here. We share almost all the details about ourselves, but stop short for fear of what this person would do with the information. Today, people find it easier to spill their guts in a chat room online than to someone they know. Why? Because of trust.

Having people on your team that you trust is vital to the effectiveness of the team. Without it, a team limps. Team members who hide information, guard their true thoughts, or avoid honest dialog with each other limits what the team can do. Remember the lack of trust between Samson and Delilah? Delilah pretended to love Samson while looking for her own personal gain. Unfortunately, Samson wasn't smart enough to realize it after she took advantage of him four times. Take a look at Delilah's words to Samson, would you trust this girl?

“How can you say you love me when you don’t confide in me?” she whined. “You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” (Judges 16:15)

When trust is absent on a team, it is extremely difficult to generate trust. Why? No one wants to commit first! Whether it be shear fear or not being able to humble ourselves...we don't make the first move. It's only safe (maybe) after someone else has been transparent or proven themselves trustworthy in small ways. Who will be the first to share about inconsistency in prayer life? How about when our marriage isn't going well?

Who goes first? Until someone goes first, the team resorts to veiled discussions and guarded comments. It's these underground dealings that causes failure in the team (as a whole) to commit to any decision.

Unless I'm willing to be open, honest, and transparent first...why would anyone else want to commit their trust to me? It's most difficult to develop trust with those who have proven themselves untrustworthy.

God, help me take a risk in my trust with others. I especially need Your help when it comes me and others who are untrustworthy. I don't want to give a second chance...but I'm thankful that You are patient. Help me be trustworthy and have integrity in all areas of my life, especially those areas that You know I need improvement. (I'd put them here in my blog, but I don't trust those reading it...but I know You know them.) Help me take resonable risks to develop a similar trust in others that I have in You.

Top 25 at Grace

Ever wonder what the most frequently used songs are at Grace? Ever wonder how they compare with other churches? Here's a very quick comparison of the top 25 songs churches use from CCLI (Christian Copyright Lisencing International) and the most used songs based on frequency at Grace?




Top 25 CCLI Songs as of April 3, 2006

1 How Great Is Our God
2 Here I Am To Worship
3 Blessed Be Your Name
4 You Are My King
5 Open The Eyes Of My Heart
6 Forever
7 Holy Is The Lord
8 Come Now Is The Time To Worship
9 Lord I Lift Your Name On High
10 God Of Wonders
11 Shout To The Lord
12 Indescribable
13 Above All
14 The Heart Of Worship
15 The Wonderful Cross
16 We Fall Down
17 Trading My Sorrows
18 You Are My All In All
19 How Great Thou Art
20 Breathe
21 You're Worthy Of My Praise
22 Draw Me Close
23 Hallelujah
24 I Give You My Heart
25 Better Is One Day


Most Frequently Used Songs at Grace (May 2005 through April 2006)

# / Title / Number of Times Used

1 Arise 9
2 God Is Great 8
3 We Want to See Jesus Lifted High 8
4 Above All 7
5 You Are Holy (Prince of Peace) 7
6 You Are My King 7
7 Better Than Life 6
8 Forever 6
9 Indescribable 6
10 Offering 6
11 That's Why We Praise Him 6
12 The Wonderful Cross 6
13 All the Earth Will Sing Your Praises 6
14 All the Earth 5
15 Your Grace Still Amazes Me 5
16 Blessed Be Your Name 4
17 Great is Thy Faithfulness 4
18 How Deep the Father’s Love for Us 4
19 O Worship the King 4
20 Shout to the North 4
21 There is a Redeemer 4
22 We Fall Down 4
23 You Are My All and All 4

The following songs were all used 3 times in the past year, so it's difficult to tell which really should fall in #24, and 25.

24 All Hail the Power (band iWorship click track version) 3
25 Ancient Words 3
26 Cry Out Your Name 3
27 Friend of God 3
28 He is Exalted 3
29 How Great Thou Art 3
30 I Love To Tell The Story (H237) 3
31 I Sing the Mighty Power of God (H59) 3
32 I Will Call Upon the Lord 3
33 I'm Forever Grateful 3
34 Lord Most High 3
35 O God Our Help In Ages Past 3
36 Revive Us Again 3
37 The Heart of Worship 3
38 You Have Been Good 3

American Idol Syndrom

Are you amazed what we see sometimes on TV? American Idol is no exception. There is amazing talent. There is also amazing deception. It's the deception that we all struggle with that can do us in. It's what I call the American Idol Syndrom.

We like others to think highly of us. Really. We all do. Many of us like to "wow' others with what we do or a knowledge about things most common people wouldn't know or do. It makes us feel confident. We rarely talk about things we are unsure of about ourselves.

In the end, we all want to have a positive positive self-regard of ourselves. That means we seek self-respect, self-worth, or some call it self-esteem. The danger in this is that we sometimes hang our hat (self-worth) on things other than where it should be.

As musicians or technicians, we tend to base a lot of our self-worth on our talent/skill ability. We are encouraged by others when we do a good job. We walk out of the service and others say, "You did a great job when (fill in the blank)." But somewhere along the way, people have failed us. They've failed to be honest with us.

Most Christians rarely tell you the truth. Really. When was the last time you had someone come up to you and say - you know...that really wasn't the best. You need some improvement before you try that again. It's rare. We somehow think that if we say only the positive things or just keep our traps shut when there are not any positives that we are doing them a favor.

Let's ask "what would Jesus do" if he heard me play a horredous trombone solo. Would He do the nice Christian thing and say, "Oh thank you Bryan for giving a sacrifice of praise," then turn around and drive home and say to His disciples, "Man, that was a sacrifice on My part to listen to that." Maybe it would be better for Jesus to say, "Thank you for giving your best...that was your best, wasn't it?" Or, "Bryan, you have a lot of potential...I'm looking forward to hearing what you'll do in the future when you improve even more." Speaking the truth in love. And yes, sometimes the well meaning truthful Christians forget about the LOVE part.

Unfortunately, most of us simply don't want to hear the truth. We may even say we want the truth, but end up justifying why we did a poor job. Or we reason that the evaluation was political, biased, unfair, etc. Back to American Idol...some of these people are just downright terrible - but when they place themselves in front of a panel to be evaluated and then are honest, they don't believe them. Why are they there to begin with? Are they there because they've placed self-worth on what they do? Or is it because they really want honesty from the panel?

We get in trouble when we somehow think we are "owed" positions because of our skill/talent, our attitude, or how much we've contributed in the past. Once I begin thinking, "So and so doesn't sing like I do," or maybe, "Why does so and so get to play the solo, I've been here longer than they have," we are in danger the American Idol Syndrom (thinking too highly of ourselves that we feel we are entitled to something).

The bottom line is that we aren't entitled to anything. I'm not entitled to a job, a family, good health, wealth, talent, or anything. God freely gives you and me these things.

The solution to the problem is to replace our self-worth as (musician, doctor, teacher, fireman, ... fill in the blank) with the knowledge that God loves us despite who we are. He doesn't care I'm a musician. He cares about the relationship He and I have together, though. And He cares about how our relationship impacts "who I am" (musician, blogger, father, husband, friend, etc.).

God, be honest with me. Tell me when I'm not following You. Show me when I'm not giving my best. Share with me when I can improve. I want to honor You with our relationship. I want You to be the sole place where I place my worth.

Off-Stage Lives

Our lives are just as important off-stage as they are on-stage, maye even more important. Why? You never know who knows you from the stage. More importantly, to God, there is no "on-stage" or "off-stage." Allow me to explain...

Last night after rehearsal my wife and I made an ice-cream run to McDonald's (my favorite resturant). After ordering at the drive-thru window, I pulled around to the first window to pay. I handed him my credit card, to which he asked, "Do I know you from somewhere?" I said, "I'm not sure…where do you think you've seen me?" He asked, "Are you from a church?" He recognized me as the 'guitar guy' (as he called it).

I was floored. How did this guy remember me from such a short time three days prior? He obviously was paying attention in the service. Or he really likes guitars. Or he really remembers how bad my singing was. No matter…my life off-stage at that moment was being compared with my life on-stage by this employee. I asked him how he ended up at Grace last Sunday. He said some friends of his invited him. I asked if he usually attends another church. He replied that he had gotten away from attending church. (obvious next question). I asked if he was thinking of coming to Grace this next Sunday. He replied he was planning on it. [Do you really think he'd reply "no."]

We exchanged names and I pulled forward to let the line of cars behind me get their grub. I grabbed our ice-cream and drove away. I was excited to hear that someone who didn't regularly attend church came to Grace. And it was great to have a chance meeting with him. But it reminded me that people know who we are on-stage, and they'll compare and judge us with what they see off-stage.

God, search my thoughts and know my mind. Point out anything in me that is inconsistant in my life off-stage. I want to be the same no matter where I'm at. I want to point people to You no matter if I'm on-stage or off-stage.