The Crack Syndrome

Have you ever walked into a friend's house and noticed a crack in the wall? You know, the things that were wrong with the house? Maybe a cracked wall here, chipped paint there, or maybe (gasp) stains in the carpet. While we may notice these things, chances are your friend doesn't see them. Why? It's called The Crack Syndrome.

The Crack Syndrome's premise simple; the longer we live with something that has errors/blemishes - the greater chance that we overlook them. This not only works with houses and other material items - it also works with relationships too. For example, I might meet someone for the first time and notice a "tick" they might have. To me, it's glaring. However, after spending years with this individual (OK, I'm not talking about my wife here...so don't jump to ANY conclusions) those ticks seem to disapper. I don't notice them until one day I introduce my friend to another new friend. Later that day, my new friend migth say, "Hey, what's up with your friend...he's doing that weird thing." I might laugh and realize that I've simply overlooked it over time. That's The Crack Syndrome. We overlook cracks over time.

There's something beautiful and dangerous about The Crack Syndrome. It's beautiful because we can live our lives without pointing out errors and 'mistakes' when it really SHOULDN'T matter. However, it's dangerous because there are times when these cracks (whatever they may be) SHOULD matter. The key to The Crack Syndrome is knowing when it SHOULD or SHOULDN'T matter.

Sometimes we take The Crack Syndrome too far or too lightly. Tight wads tend to pay attention to the hairline cracks that will never hurt anyone - while enablers disregard massive cracks that threaten the foundation of the structure.

God, please help me to be concerned about the RIGHT cracks. The ones that don't matter - help me to let go of. The cracks that may crumble the foundation (whether in my relationships or my house) need my attention. Help me to know what the correct REPAIR method is for the cracks in my life and those around me. I'll be honest, Lord, I don't like pointing out cracks in other people's lives...so I need Your courage to be honest with I see things that may rock the foundation of my family and friends.

It Doesn't Matter

So when doesn't it matter? You know...when you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Forget it...it doesn't matter." It's like the time a co-worker came into my office in a tissy about something that (to them) was a big deal. I sat there thinking (of course, as they talked) to myself - you know, this REALLY DOESN'T MATTER. I don't care. It's of no value. I even thought I might comment on their tirad by saying, "...and what's the big deal?!"

Everything in life is given a priority. Take for example, our thought process in the morning. We begin thinking about what needs to be accomplished in the day. This usually takes place in the shower. By the time we brush our teeth (I probably have this out of order, or skip this one if you are gross), we might be formulating a pecking order of what should be done first. We automatically give priority to every task. This happens even if we don't realize we are doing it.

Everyone has their own unique priority order. While I think it is important to brush my teeth in the morning, the next person feels that getting down that first cup of java is more important. So who's right? While it's not really a matter of right or wrong in this case, when does it become a matter of right and wrong. For example, is it right to let someone wait to meet with me when I simply want to finish a project? This one is a little more grey. Then there are obvious ones, the priority of my wife over other women. My wife is priority one...and if she wasn't, I'd be wrong to think otherwise.

So the question is - how do we choose priorities? I'm convinced we select priorities based off of (most of the time) selfish desires and nearsightedness. Consider a doctor giving me news that I had a week to live. My priorities would shift dramatically. My investments of resources (not just money, but time and other elements) would look different. But why? Should I always live life like it's my last week? How about my last day? But how can I when I spend a day at work? Spending a day at work would not be my choice for my last day of life. So the trick is to live life using priorities primarily based from the information we know right now about the past, present, future...and to not dwell on the what-ifs. Bottom line, I want to get to the end with no regrets with how my priorities are.

Even this blog...at some point, it was my priority to post an entry.

And for you...at some point, it was your priority to read this post.

God help us to prioritize our lives as if He would want us to if He were in our shoes.

Why are we here?

"Tell me again Maximus, why are we here?" One of the early turning points in the movie "Gladiator." Ceaser of Rome was dying. He was questioning how people would remember him as...a soldier, a visionary, a tyrant? While it can be sobering to think about death and a fixed life span here on Earth - there is hope in knowing life goes beyond the physical one we live out everyday.

How should I live my life in light of eternity? It comes down to what is most important NOW because of eternity. If there was no hope of life after death, then I should live my life for my own benefit. But eternal life brings a new perspective on life right now.

What would please God with my time on Earth? Coming up with a list is important if I desire to hear the words the Bible says God will state to some - "Well done, good and faithful servant." There is a key found even in these words. The word is SERVANT. What kind of servant? A faithful one. A 'good' one.

At the end of this life, I'd like for Jesus to put His arm around me and say, "Bryan, everything you did you did because you wanted to serve Me. Your family time, your personal time, your finances, your music, the books you read, the relationships you built, the trips you took, the words you spoke, the thoughts you contemplated - all of them were acts of service to Me. Not only did you do them with Me in mind, you were committed and steadfast in your purpose. I know you love Me because your life actions said it."

Just Wait

There aren't too many things that press my button. But what I'm going to share today is one that really does. In fact, it takes everything in me to not come back with a smart comment. Someone with my personality doesn't have too many of these occurances, but this is definatley one of them. So what is it?

It's when others say to me, "Just wait until (you fill in the blank)! You'll really understand how hard it is." Let me give you an example. Before I left college, people would tell me "Just wait until you are living on your own and you have to make it yourself." After I moved away from college and family, people said, "Just wait until you get married." After I got married, they said, "Just wait until the honeymoon is over." That led to, "Just wait until you have a kid." Which led to, "Just wait until you have two kids." I'm sure the next one (which I've already heard) is, "Just wait until your kids are teenagers."

I feel like saying, "Just wait until I hit you in the mouth," in love of course.

What posses us to say this to other people? Maybe it's because we feel like we've gone through the fire and that we are preparing them so they aren't surprised. Maybe it's because it makes some people feel better about themselves because they've already 'accomplished' that stage of life. Maybe it's because they really think we are not going to be able to handle it.

Whatever the reason, most of the time it's negative in connotation. I have yet to hear someone say with a lift in their voice and gleam in their eye, "Just wait until you have kids...you'll love it." Or maybe, "Just wait until you have an empty nest...it will be a great chapter in your life!" Nope. Never heard it.

We seem to be stuck with our present situation being the one place we don't want to be. We talk about the "good ol' days" in the past or about that future "dream vacation" we can't wait to take in the future. We talk about the past and future positively - but we aren't happy with the present. I've been working on this week being content with the NOW. God help me to be more than just satisfied with the present - but taking hold of the present.

Of Faith & Risk

I allowed my son to do something terrible (in the eyes of some) this past week while my wife was at a retreat. It was just me and Joshua at home together. You know - father/son bonding time. I thought I'd let him explore a little, so I allow him to try out a couple of the steps on our staircase. Before you knew it, he was propelling himself with no problem. He was obviously enjoying his freedom.

My son was unaware of all the risks he was taking. What if he would fall? What if I couldn't catch him in time? What if I had passed out for an unexplained reason? What if there had been an earthquake? What if the staircase couldn't hold him? What if...

The difference between Joshua and me is that I'm smarter because of experience. I know when I'm taking a risk. My son did not. What is it then that propells us to take a risk and other times to play it safe? It's called fear. Fear of (you fill in the blank). Failure. Financial ruin. Physical harm. Emotional scarring. Ridicule.

The Bible recounts that Peter, when he walked on water, acted on impulse. It wasn't until he was on top of the water that he realized the risk he took. He didn't calculate it until he got out of the boat. Nonetheless, you'll hear people say that Peter wasn't the failure...there was a boat load of failures who did nothing.

I want to be a Water Walker. I want to be like my son. I want to take risks when God shows me the way (but not the details), opens a door (but doesn't turn on the light), gives me an opportunity (but doesn't tell me the end result). Sure, "calculated risk" is what I've lived on for years...using human means to make sure that I'm not stupid. I'm not talking about being ignorant of the facts. But I am talking about acting when God makes it clear that He wants me to trust Him.

God help me to ACT when you call me to trust you. Thank you for being behind me in the stairwell as I take each step of risk - even when I'm unaware of the danger and risk around me.

Are You a BTS Person?

I've come to appreciate "behind-the-scenes" (BTS) people. They go about their business. They do what they are asked to do. They seek no credit. They want no applause. They seldom are seen by the public.

When do we tend to notice these invisible faces? Sad to say, it's most likely when they screw up. When BTS people serve faithfully and do well, they go unnoticed. But the minute they forget to clean-up or follow-thru, they are the talk of the town.

When you think of BTS people - who comes immediately to your mind? Maybe it's someone in your family. Maybe someone at church. School? Work? Wherever it is, they are probably a regular person who doesn't want your thanks. They prefer behind-the-scenes because they don't want to be noticed.

Who are these people in my world? Here are a few who I've come to appreciate, but didn't always know they were there. They remain nameless - like they tend to want to be...

• The lady who empties my office trash can.
• The people who pick-up my trash.
• The person who provided a banjo for me.
• The people on the mezzanine in church who support what is happening on stage.
• The couple who makes distributes music to groups.
• The one who provides clean cloths everyweek.
• The singer in the choir who never asks to sing a solo.
• The one who writes an encouraging post on someone's website who doesn't even know the other person.
• The people who setup the set and tear it down, but aren't a part of the show.

Red Devilish Ax

So I got a new guitar. My wife and I agreed that if we redid the kitchen that I could get my final electric guitar upgrade. So, after going through our finances and budget, we realized we could do both. So here it is...my new guitar.

My old guitar was a red devilish ax. (Who ever said that Satan is red anyway?) It wasn't my first pick of guitars to play during worship - but the price was right when a friend of mine was getting rid of it. The red beast played in tune and did the trick - so I used it. It played better than my first blue sparkling guitar (which was another friend's guitar, that gave me a good deal). Others said that the cut-away on the Les Paul hollow-body styled guitar looked like a devil horn - but I played it anyway.

I found myself with buyers regret (but not too much) as I drove home with my friend Todd with the new guitar. Why was I getting this guitar? Did I really need it? Was I really being a good steward of what God has given me? (Get behind me Satan!) That's my personality - analysis paralysis. But I plopped down the money anyway - and there I was on my way home with the new guitar. The stop at Taco Bell made it a little better on the way home.

When I woke up Sunday morning and grabbed the guitar & case on the way out of the house - I found myself praying all the way to the church. I was asking God to make this guitar a tool that I could use for Him. I didn't want it to be the focal point of that Sunday morning, the rhythm band, or in anyway. Human nature had my little-boy-grin all over inside as I plugged the guitar into my amp.

"New toy?" The other band members asked. "Kinda," I replied. So what! Big deal. People get new cars all the time. People get a new haircut. The minute you change aftershave - everyone notices.

Maybe I should have been thrilled? Thrilled that God made it possible for me to lead worship that morning on a nice guitar. Thrilled that I have the priveledge to even come before Him with anything. Thrilled that I had the budget I had. Thrilled that I had the freedom to lead worship at all. Thrilled that others could enjoy the fact that God has blessed me.

So why should I hide it? If anything, I have the tendancy to be too frugal, shoot for the lowest common denominator, and feel guilty whenever God decides to make things fall in my favor.

God, thank You for what you give me and when You give it to me. Everything I have comes from You. My guitar, my family, my skills, my health, my life...everything! Help me to point others to You with what You've given me. And help me find a good home for the Red Devilish Ax.

The Elusive Target

I don't like to admit when I'm wrong. Nobody does. When it comes to several ministry areas, I have goals in my mind of what our target is and what it means when we hit it. Unfortunately, I don't like to admit that we haven't hit a target.

What do you do when you realize you haven't hit your target? This past year, the concert leadership team and I have finally agreed that we have not been hitting our target with the concert series - a ministry designed to be an outreach by nature. Sure, we can pack the house with 1,000+ people - but that does not define success. Success, means that we have a high percentage of those who are unchurched or are unbelievers. Frankly, I'd be more happy with 500 people at an event with 20% (125 people) being unchurched - than 1,000 people with only 5% (50 people) unchurched. Am I concerned about numbers here? Yes! Because people matter to God.

I have a choice in how I can respond when I miss. I can become defensive. I can blame others. I can blame the environment or climate I'm in. I can become depressed and immobilized. I can wallow in pity for myself. These are all negaive responses. But what about the positive responses? I could make changes. I could try again. I could be honest. I could learn.

How will I choose to respond?

Thomas Edison found success in his failure. He filled more than 40,000 pages with notes before he finally had a bulb that withstood a 40 hour test in his laboratory. In 1879, after testing more that 1600 materials for the right filament, including coconut fiber, fishing line, and even hairs from a friend's beard, Edison and his workers finally figured out what to use for the filament -- carbonized bamboo. While working on this project, Edison is quoted to say, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

God, help me to respond to failure like Christ. Even though Christ didn't fail in anything He did, my attitude, verbal response, and actions can all reflect your Son who was perfect. Help me be open to change to be more effective for service in Your Kingdom.

Plugging In

Yesterday I sat down at my desk shortly after 9am and began my morning ritual. You know - emptying the inbox, re-prioritizing the to-do list, listening to voice mail, and making the rest of the week's game plan. Everything was going as usual. Nothing abnormal. But then it began...

I felt something on my right leg. You know. Sometimes your car keys in your pocket are turned and are boring a hole in your leg. I shifted my weight in the chair and thought it might correct the problem. Several seconds later, it was there again. Boring a hole in my leg. I thought, that's it - I'm going to flaten those keys so they don't poke me. So I reached my hand in far enough to feel the keys and give them a good jingle. Ahhh! That should do it.

Again, several seconds later...this searing pain was at my leg! It felt like someone was holding a hot iron to my leg. I finally jumped up, frustrated, and pulled the dump keys out of my pocket. With the keys laying on the desk, I still felt something in my pocket. Reaching my hand in, I finally pulled out a 9-volt battery.

It was hot! Really hot! Scalding!

Apparently, during Sunday's service, I threw an extra 9-volt in my pocket in case I needed it for an RF mic or my RF guitar unit if the battery died mid-service. I had forgotten about it and wore the same pair of jeans (I do this often - saves money and work for the laundry). With the 9-volt in the pocket, there was also a PAPERCLIP.

The paperclip made contact with the positive and negative of the 9-volt , it caused the battery to heat up. I unknowingly had the perfect storm for a bomb in my pocket.

It's a lot like our access to God's power. His power in us is working through the Holy Spirit that lives in every believer. We have it all the time. Sitting in our pocket. We don't realize it. We could have access to His power at any time. We simply forget about it. We had it on Sunday - but forgot about it in our pocket on Monday at work.

The Holy Spirit is our power source. He’s all-powerful and all-knowing. When we’re plugged into the Holy Spirit, we’re also plugged into God and all His mighty power.

I am fully wired. But unless I plug into the power source, I don’t have any power coursing through my wires. The battery represents the Holy Spirit. The wires (or paperclip in this sense) represent my relationship to Jesus Christ. I may be fully wired — praying every now and then and even reading the Bible once in a while — but that’s not enough. What good is a cord without any power?

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Ephesians 3:20

Epic Mistakes

Yesterday at church we had a Sunday unlike any other we've had to date. It was called "EPIC Sunday" based off of a concept John Eldridge created. The concept deals with the story God is telling and the role we have to play in it. Our primary target, unlike other Sundays, were those who do not have a vertical relationship with God yet.

The Sunday morning was filled with a variety of communication methods that connect with a variety of learners. One of these elements was The Crosswalk Band (from Grace Church's Crosswalk Show). During the service, the band has several moving video clips to play along with. The band plays with "click tracks" that keep the live band in tempo with the video and words on the screen. At several points, things didn't pan out the way we had rehearsed them.

Technical challenges caused us to not have a click track in the drummers in-ear monitors - causing us to fly by the seat of our pants. Though we didn't rehearse this way - we kept going. Most people probably didn't see it as a distraction - however for me, it was a disctraction of epic proporations.

How can I worship vertically when I'm being horizontally challenged by the technical errors we were making? It stole my attention from where my attention was due. At that point in time it didn't matter if we were on with the click or off. We were at the top of our game with our level of excellence (doing the best you can with what you have)...yet I felt as if there was 'something more' that could have been done. Afterward, I thought about where my focus was (or wasn't).

God help me not to be horizontally challenged after we've done all we could do. I want to be vertically focused no matter what human error occurs. You don't expect perfection...we will never be perfect. But You do demand my attention after all the rehearsing is done. You will be my object of worship - not the monitor mix, video images, click tracks, distracting movements, un-cued mics, mis-said words, or whatever may happen the next time we come before Your throne.